Stampin' Out Alzheimer's exists because of an amazing, wonderful man and I have created the site in his honor. His name is Eddie Harper and for 32 years he has been my hero. Here he is in 2005 at age 54 - Mai Tai in hand, a twinkle in his eye, and a nice healthy tan from spending nearly every day of his recent early retirement at the beach near his home on Maui:
That man in the prime of his life, with seemingly many relaxing peaceful years of retirement in paradise ahead of him, is my father.
Today, just 4 short years after that photo was taken, my dad, my hero, the person I've looked up to more than just about anyone else in this world spends the days of his early retirement not relaxing on the beach, but in an Adult Day Care center where he thinks he's a "volunteer". The extremely intelligent, generous, dedicated man who raised me and who once was a successful private practice Optometrist is no longer here. He has been replaced by a virtual stranger. Every now and then I'll get a glimpse of that same twinkle in his eye or he'll do something goofy and laugh at himself or he'll look at me with recognition, pride and love in his eyes for a fleeting second and I'll be reminded of the man he once was.
My Dad has Alzheimer's Disease. He is 58 years old. My 2-year-old son will never get to experience my Dad's overzealous packing for a camping trip - learning that "it's better to have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it". My son will never get to sit patiently while my Dad spends hours making out a list on a legal pad of all the numbers for that year's baseball cards so my son can cross them off the list as he collects them, making it easier to know which ones he needs and has duplicates of when it's time to make trades. My son will never be quickly shoved into a closet in the middle of the night in Oklahoma when the tornado sirens are going off, being told to put on the oversized motorcycle helmet and bullet-proof vest "just in case", while my Dad promises him that everything is going to be just fine. My son will never see my Dad running to help some old lady he's never met who's about to get bowled over by a wave at the beach, just because he can't stand NOT to help someone who looks like they might need help. My son will never get to experience these and many of the other wonderful childhood experiences my father created for me and I always imagined him creating for his grandchildren. My 2-year-old son will never know the man who raised me. This, more than anything else, breaks my heart.
This is the reality of Alzheimer's Disease. It knows no prejudices. It doesn't save itself for just the very old, sometimes it strikes those who are much too young. My father was in his early 50s when he first started showing the early signs of the disease. Now, at 58, he is moving into the later stages of the disease and we have no way of knowing what the future holds. My Mom, who is only 57, is spending what was supposed to be the prime of her life taking care of a man who is no longer the same person she fell in love with and married nearly 37 years ago. Alzheimer's Disease shows no mercy.
Please join us in our fight to Stamp Out Alzheimer's May 25-31. 100% of funds raised will be donated to the American Alzheimer's Association. Thank you!
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13 comments:
Touching post Jen. I am so sorry.
It's terribly sad to hear how you have been touched by this personally. I've read accounts of other families but your Dad is so young...it really hits home that it could happen to any of us, at any time.
I wish you and your family, espeically your Mom, blessings and peace.
Sorry about this, it's all I can say.
i'm so sorry jen..incldg u and family in my prayers. huge hugs
Oh, Jen, thank you for sharing your very touching and personal story. Hugs and prayers to you and your entire family.
I am inspired by your strength and ability to share your touching story with others. It's heartbreaking to hear your reality but hopefully you can be comforted in the support you find. Bless you and all you are doing in honor of your Dad. So exciting to see the fundraising ticker move up and up for such a worthy cause.
Thanks for taking on this project, I will be making my donation tonight in honor of my mother who also suffers from Alzheimer's. I think one of the hardest things about this disease is that you lose the person you know and love long before they are actually gone. There is very little left of the Mother that raised me and loved me, little left of the wife who was such a strong partner and as you mention, the most tragic is that she is not the grandmother she wanted to be. She is lost somewhere inside herself and I will never see her again.
Thank-you and everyone that has made a contribution.
I am a care giver for a 98 year old alzheimer's patient. She has been in my life for 5 years and I am grateful to her. Yes she is not the same person I met 5 years ago, and YES so much has changed, and yes we have some really HARD days..It's hard for me to read this about your dad being so young! My thoughts are with you during this difficult time! Can't wait to join Stampin Out Alzheimers!
I'm going to be signing up this afternoon, but wanted to tell you that your father is in my thoughts and prayers. I was raised by my grandmother. My entire world!! She was dx'ed two years ago with Alzheimer's. It indeed is a terrible disease. I can't believe it affected your father so early. I'm so sorry!! Many hugs to you and your family..
Jen - I was touched by the story about your father, more so for the fact that he was a wonderful man and father before he started suffering from this terrible disease. I've posted info on my own blog with links to yours in the hope that anyone who stops by might decide to give. Wishing you the best of luck in reaching your goal. ((HUGS))
What a beautiful tribute to your father. You wrote it so well. My father passed away when I was pregnant with my first child. It's so sad my kids will never know the man I loved so much. Your box is a wonderful keepsake.
Jen, I'm touched by your story. I'm a caregiver for my mother-n-law we are going in her tenth year.I'm so honored on behalf of my mother-n-law that you would raise such a tremendous amount of funds to help fight this awful disease. Do you know if your father had a gene mutation to cause early onset? I hate to hear that your dad has been hit so early. Such a brillant man lost and hollow inside. My prayers go to you and your family. I pray that your dad is able to be comfortable as he suffers this horrible disease.
Oh, Jen! Such a heartfelt post. What a wonderful man, and such a frightening disease. You and your dad are constantly popping up in my thoughts. Big hugs!!!
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